My First METMA Challenge Ficcy!
by Twist
Summary: Hii! This is my first METMA Challenge Fic I've written! I would like to say happy birthday to Guinea! This fic is dedicated to her! Please read her fic! And review this one!


A Really Weird Makes-No-Sense Fic  
By: Twist, sick and twisted worshiper of Apollo  
  


A/N: Hi! This was written for Mandy's METMA challenge!!! I am really REALLY doplic when it comes to writing challenge fics so bear with me!! Below are the requirements so you're not in the dark.  
  
METMA Challenge Requirements:  
*Must be funny*  
*Someone has to say "Kiss me, I'm IRISH!"*  
*Harry can't be Irish*  
*Crabbe needs to get plastic surgery*  
*Someone has to say "Yo suy muy aburrido" which is "I am very boring" in Spanish*  
*Someone needs to be wearing pink tights at one point*  
*A teacup needs to speak*  
*Gilderoy Lockhart needs to be mentioned or seen*  
  
A/NII: Right! Now that you know that, ONWARD!!!! =)  
  
"Hey, Harry? How would you like to help me with my homework?" Asked Ron, looking quite perplexed. "Snape really over-loaded us this time."  
"Sure," Harry answered leaning over the paper. "Hey, Ron, you've blotted your paper here. Loo-" Harry was suddenly and tragically (yeah, right) cut off when the little blot sucked him, Ron, Hermione, and various other characters into oblivion (Dun, dun, DUN!) .  
~*  
"I hate Science Fair, I really just wanna party at home all day!" Sang Guinea loudly to the tune of 'I Don't Want To Work' (I think that's the name...) . She and I were sitting boredly on the floor, making our science fair displays. Quite suddenly, three people fell out of a small white blinking light that had appeared out of thin air. Guinea recongnised the blinking light at once. "Hey! Twist! Look! It's Fred from 'So You Want To Be A Wizard' by Diane Duane! Hi Fred!" Guinea smiled crazily and waved madly at Fred.  
I looked at her strangely for a moment or two before turning my attention to the Harry Potter characters. "Hello," I said, "What are we doing in my living room?"  
They all gave me bizarre looks for a moment. Then, quite bravely, Harry said; "I was helping Ron with his homework when this little blot on his paper sucked us all in! I wasn't my fault! Honestly!"  
I regarded them imperiously for a moment (I'm a fanfic author, I'm allowed to do that) before carelessly forgiving them for barging in quite unexpectedly and politely asked them to leave.  
Well," started Harry, "You see, we don't know how to get ba-"  
"He was cut off rather abruptly by Guinea, who seemed to have cornered Ron and was screaming at him; "Kiss me! I'm IRISH!" Ron was cowering helplessly in the corner.  
"Honestly, Jo, you're just trying to impress him. We both know perfectly well that I have WAY more Irish in my blood than you do. And Scottish and Welsh as well. You're mostly German." I said this maybe a bit too cruelly, Guinea gave me a 'how dare you' sort of look and backed off.  
Quite suddenly, the author got tired of writing in this particular style and it turned into a CLICHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: Oops, sorry. I didn't mean that in a bad way or anything!  
  
Guinea: No prob! It's all good!  
  
*Crabbe and several other fall through the roof*  
  
Crabbe: Yo suy muy aburrido! Arrriba!!!!!!! Cha cha cha!!  
  
Draco: Riiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt.  
  
Crabbe: Dude, listen. I'm going to go get plastic surgery and crap to make me look more like the hot kid on Twist's bus, okay? So would you like to feed my fish for me?  
  
Draco: Okay........  
  
Twist: That was weird... OH MY GAWD!!!!!! GUINEA!!!! LOOOOOK!!!!  
  
Guinea: Huh?  
  
Twist: IT'S JUSTIN!!!! ONLY THIS TIME HE'S TRADED IN HIS BUMBLEBEE SUIT FOR PINK TIGHTS!!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! SCARY!!!!!  
  
Guinea: AND HE'S BEING FOLLOWED BY AVERY!!! AND HE'S WEARING PINK TIGHTS TOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Justin and Avery: *dance like ballerinas*  
  
All: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Voice: Heh heh! That's funny! Isn't that funny children? You see, just because you're male, doesn't mean you cannot participate in activities normally associated the other sex.  
  
All: Whaaaaaaaattt?!  
  
Lockhart (he was hiding in a corner): Oh! Hello! I see you've heard my friend! Mr. Teacup! Say hello to Mr. Teacup everyone!  
  
All: Riiiiigggggghhhhhhhhtttttt.  
  
Mr. Teacup: Hello, boys and girls!  
  
All: Scary...  
  
Twist: *sighs* *sarcastically* Ya know, as much as we're all havin' fun here, I really must work on my display. I'll see you all later!  
  
All: Awwwww...  
  
Twist: DON'T PULL THAT! OUT!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *leaves very quickly*  
  
Twist: Ahhhh, that's better. *sees teacup* Huh? What's this?  
  
Teacup: Hello everyone, it's time to play! Let's learn and have fun today!  
  
Twist: *screams*  
  
Crabbe: *swings through window* I'll save you! Judo-CHOP! *kills Mr. Teacup*  
  
Twist: Wow, thanks. Dude, you are FINE!  
  
Crabbe: *puffs up proudly* Why thank you...  
  
Twist: No, not you, dolt. Tom, he's standing right behind you. Outta the way. *throws Crabbe out window*  
  
Tom: Me? I thought I wasn't gonna be in this cliche, dangit. Oh well, you don't look too bad yourself.  
  
Twist: Don't get cute with me Riddle-boy. C'mere! *grabs Tom and pulls him into a closet*  
  


The End  
  


A/NIII: Awww, it was a happy ending! Yay! And I actually completed my first challenge fic! Yay! Thanks for reading this! You've made me very happy! And you know what? Readers: What? Me: I'll be evn happier if you review! So please take at least ten seconds of your time and give me feedback! Thankies! =)


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